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Something Auditioning This Way Comes

“Good Morning” from Singing in the Rain is blasting off President Emily Howell’s computer. The door opens. She hits pause. Officers rush to seats in the Glee Club Office, stow half-eaten bagels under chairs, and try to look semi-official and yet not intimidating to freshmen. “Something Auditioning This Way Comes,” says Emily.

I can’t shake the feeling I’m in a reality show. There’s one chair in the center of the room. Kids from West Virginia, South Africa, California, Vietnam, and Long Island are coming in one at a time to say hey, shuffle their feet, and talk music at Yale.

As a cheat sheet to those of you planning to audition in future who may be reading the Glee Club Blog, I offer a set of possible questions you should study up on. We’ll answer some of them ourselves, as a sneak preview of the new officer bios to be posted Monday.


Q: If you could build a house out of any unconventional material, what would it be?
A: “Ice cream sandwiches. They’re kind of like bricks and would be structurally sound.” - Claire Paulson, International Tour Manager

Q: If you could have any mythical creature as a pet or a friend, what would it be?
A: “In my youth, I 100% would have chosen a unicorn, and I’m not entirely sure that would have changed. But dragons are just really cool. Or like, a talking cat. Or something that could fly. I’ve given this a lot of thought.” – Emily Howell, President
Addendum: “But a dragon would be really hard to take care of.” – Emily
“Not if it could go kill its own sheep.” – Kate Carter, International Tour Manager

Q: If you were a Winnie-the-Pooh Character, which character would you be?
A: “I would be Piglet, because Piglet is small and adorable and a loyal companion.” – Jenny Witthun, Social Chair.

Q (from Jasmine, 150th Reunion Chair): If you could eat a Winnie-the-Pooh character, which one would you eat?
A (from auditionee): I’m a vegetarian.
A (From Jeff): “Well, obviously Piglet, right? Piglet would be tender.”
A (from Adam, outreach chair): “You could stew Piglet and Rabbit together.”

Q: Who’s your favorite Disney villain?
A: “Ursula, totally. Because she has the most baller song in all of the Disney movies, she’s modeled off of a drag queen, she’s played by Pat Carrol and she has eels.” – - Kate Carter, International Tour Manager.

After a few hours of this, Rachel Wilf, manager, began accidentally saying “With mychical” instead of “Which mythical creature is your favorite?” This is a clear indication of fatigue and the beginnings of insanity.

Some statistical data gathered over the course of the last two days:

We believe there may be a correlation between those auditionees who chose a dragon and those who chose Tigger; they may be extroverts. Please note that this dataset is not comprehensive… we had one Roo and one wyvern respond after I made the graphs.

Finally, please rest assured that the composition of the 150th Yale Glee Club was not, in fact, determined by these deeply revealing questions, but by the talent, commitment, and musicality singers displayed during auditions.

That said, we remain in awe of the members of the class of 2014 we have met. Between them, they can whistle Clair de Lune, beatbox with only their teeth, make fire by rubbing sticks, win archery championships, jump rope while sitting on the ground, sing the Kings and Queens of England, and memorize 200 digits of Pi. We wish them the best at Yale and in all the years after, and hope they stay as badass as they are now.

We also want to congratulate all the new members of the Glee Club – expect a (more serious) welcome post soon.


Anonymous said…
This is awfully weird, even for the Internet.

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